She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
