Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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