so explain again why im purple
no
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
