and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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