forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
