I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
