Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
