she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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