2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
