the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
