i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The beer is more important than you right now.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
