cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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