he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
