I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
