Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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