I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
