Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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