Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
