ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
