Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Still dying that you shit outside
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
