another moral hangover. fuck.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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