she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
