I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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