The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
