My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
