My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
