He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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