I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
