I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
