He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
