There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm at about main and main street
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
