Already got asked if we're dating
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
