no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She's the barista slut.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
