like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This house was built for laser tag.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
