you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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