Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
