All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
