You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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