Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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