I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
