finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
