Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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