Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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