i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
