you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
