And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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