Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
