I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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