you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
