Do you still have your period?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
