Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
